SHOOOOEEESSS FRROOOOOMMM SPAAAAACE!

I've noticed a fairly disturbing trend lately. As I was browsing the sale section of ShopBop, it came to my attention that a lot of the shoes look like they're straight out of a bad science fiction movie. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, just kind of...worrying.



For instance, are these not the shoes that Princess Leia might have worn if the Rebel Alliance had failed and she's had to resort to hooking to keep her in silly hairstyles?



These "beauties" aren't just futuristically silver and ergonomically curvy, but they appear to actually HOVER ABOVE THE FOOT!



These really ought to be adorning the feet of some slender, pan-European blonde with a bouffant hairdo, a silver bikini, and sparkly false eyelashes. You know, the type who plays a cold, wooden alien temptress who falls madly in love with the handsome, patriotic American astronaut. Outta sight!



These, on the other hand, would be worn by the evil ruler of the alien homeworld filled with hot babes.



These booties are lavaproof, waterproof, slimeproof, and worn by the Goat People of Kalakor IV.